just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
