Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
