walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Welp...herpes.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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