Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
