He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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