it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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