I need help removing her.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
