that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize