Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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