What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It was confusing and full of hummus
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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