So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
