That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
