Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize