all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
