VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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