u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
