and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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