im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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