i just had sex bonerless
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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