I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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