omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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