a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
