just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
