I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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