I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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