u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
