I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
