We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
