He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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