3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
did you just send me my own nude
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
