i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
