Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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