Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
