my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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