I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Life is so much better after having sex.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
