girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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