You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
