When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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