Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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