just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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