Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
