She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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