I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
