dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit