I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples