Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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  (248): ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe. http://tfl.nu/gys8
  Replies (10) Good night (3098) Bad night (731)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.

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  (859): I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song. http://tfl.nu/z4jp
  Replies (62) Good night (1229) Bad night (3557)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

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  (860): I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass http://tfl.nu/kwec
  Replies (24) Good night (1475) Bad night (5264)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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  (503): So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/hko9
  Replies (24) Good night (939) Bad night (5611)
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  (916): View more from California

  This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here

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  (916): This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here http://tfl.nu/hb41
  Replies (16) Good night (4844) Bad night (1078)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation

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  (303): I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation http://tfl.nu/w0jl
  Replies (9) Good night (6820) Bad night (1113)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway

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  (443): Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway http://tfl.nu/al82
  Replies (15) Good night (3677) Bad night (896)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.

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  (306): I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/ytdq
  Replies (5) Good night (3688) Bad night (1030)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.

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  (863): Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone. http://tfl.nu/onku
  Replies (3) Good night (1999) Bad night (950)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?

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  (423): I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I? http://tfl.nu/fiqy
  Replies (5) Good night (2638) Bad night (1078)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".

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  (973): Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise". http://tfl.nu/r9vi
  Replies (7) Good night (976) Bad night (1975)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.

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  (918): Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking. http://tfl.nu/gpcu
  Replies (5) Good night (2402) Bad night (775)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.

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  (917): He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay. http://tfl.nu/36pt
  Replies (7) Good night (2615) Bad night (773)
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  (433): View more from

  Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.

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  (433): Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car. http://tfl.nu/9azh
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (592)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.

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  (413): So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time. http://tfl.nu/h95e
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (385)

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