we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
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Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
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You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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