Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
