am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
