my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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