Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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