This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
