i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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