Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
