If that was your dad, he is hot
Soap is not a condiment
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
