i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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