She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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