Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
