She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
