She's JV to your varsity
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
