why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing