Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
