chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's blow job season.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
