Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process