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My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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