He is an equal opportunity slut.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
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I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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