I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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