great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
